"No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world." -Mr. Keating

It's been less than 24 hours since I read the news of Robin Williams' passing.  I never met him; I don't know anyone who has; and yet I mourn him like a friend.  

Why is it that I and so many others feel such a connection to a solitary human being?  Why is it that his loss impacts me more than the death of the 12 year old boy shot and killed in Palestine yesterday?  Is his life worth any less than Williams?  Of course not.  

For me, I found his improvisational comedy, especially while being interviewed, difficult to enjoy.  I always felt sympathy for the person who was just trying to get him to talk about whatever new movie he was there to promote.  He was notorious for hijacking interviews and doing wild and zany things.  This same comic genius that I could watch for hours and hours on stage always made me cringe just a bit when I watched him interviewed.
 

In contrast to the videos above, his most recent round of interviews for The Crazy Ones, seemed tame:


He was at his best in his roles.  I'll never forget him in Mrs. Doubtfire.  I loved watching him explain how the character evolved and probably my favorite scenes in that movie were when he would 'slip' out of the lovely old lady voice into the gruff middle age man in order to scare someone into submission; like the unexpecting purse snatcher in the scene below:

 
Personally, his role in The Dead Poets Society, changed my life.  Seeing the movie, while home on break from college, cemented my desire to be an educator.  Not just any educator, but an educator that helped students '...Suck the marrow out of life.'  'To make their lives extraordinary.'



I actually have a small movie poster of The Dead Poets Society that is on the bulletin board in my office.  For years it was laminated and placed on the front of my school planning book.  I've thought about that movie and the character of Mr. Keating at the beginning of every school year for nearly a quarter of a century.  I usually watch the film about this time every summer to remind myself why I go back to elementary school every August.

I know that Robin Williams was not Mr. Keating, but in my mind, he captured something I wanted to emote.  It was a vivacity.  A zest.  A desire to be more.  

I've tried in my teaching to always find that sweet spot of looking at things from new perspectives; honoring the student voice; being 'real' with students and families.  I credit Mr. Keating with much of that.  He's probably why I was and still am an advocate of using poetry in the classroom.

And so, I come back to my original question:  Why is it that I and so many others feel such a connection to a solitary human being?  It's the stories he brought to life.  It's the characters he played.  Sitting in those darkened movie theaters, for a little while anyway, I both saw myself and others in those roles.  I often let myself down, but for a while, I was a better person.  That's what his work did for me.  It helped me be a better person while at the same time giving others the chance to be that better person too.

I read today that he for sure took his own life.  His loss is even more painful knowing that he chose to end his life.  Of course it would have been tragic as well if he died due to overdose or a car crash, etc.  But to know he 'chose' to die makes it ever more sad.  He has battled depression for a long time along with his other demons.  

It makes me infinitely more sad to know that he was in such a dark place that even the lives of his three kids and loving wife did not offer a spark or a nudge to reach out for more help.  I've read the words of those who have criticized him for taking his life; calling him selfish and narcissistic.  I disagree.  He was hurting and like most people who fight depression, he was doing it in the private, lonely space of his mind.  Depression is real.  It is crushing and it is debilitating.  I've seen it.  I've experienced it.  Thankfully, I've always been able to get beyond it.  I've been lucky enough to have a support system that has helped me 'sleep on it.'  For me, it's almost always better after a good night's sleep. 

If anything good can come of this tragic loss, I hope it is an awareness of the need for support for depression.  I hope that others will reach out to family, friends, or organizations like Lifeline.

For now, I will rest.  There will be an outpouring of grief and loss from Hollywood and in a few months most of us will have forgotten about him.  I, however, hope that folks will continue to discover and treasure him in the roles he has played.  It is of some comfort, albeit bittersweet, that he still has four movies that are going to be coming out.  I know I'll see them and I know that I'll find something lovely in them.  I hope that you do too.